“What is mine is mine.” Not all people believe in this psychology. Some share their funds with the reasoning that both of them have right over each other’s things, money and all. Money is an extremely delicate subject, which more often than not leads to wrangle between partners. Maintaining a long-term relationship calls for plain communication so that both of you know everything about each other after all communication develops understanding.
Finance is a critical thing, if not taken seriously, it may wreak havoc your relationship. The attitude and perception of your spouse toward money cannot be the same as you. You are likely to be an aggressive saver and your life partner is likely to be prodigal. Setting up spending limits may keep you from blurring the boundaries between the right and the wrong.
Here are some pieces of advice to help you discuss money with your partner.
Be honest and open
Back to the time when you had the money conversation with your partner. Probably a month or a quarter ago, but your chat would have revolved around bills, mortgage payments, debts, budget and overspending issues. Such issues lead to an altercation. Have you ever discussed your dreams and plans? Have you told what you fancy and why you want to save money? What are your retirement plans?
You should set a particular money date. You are not to discuss your pending bills, but try to have an open conversation around money. You do not need to set even a goal, just talk and talk. It will build a foundation of trust between you and your partner.
Go through your credit report and figure out what you can do
The strength of financial understanding comes up when you find yourself in a tight corner. There are sundry events when you have cash shortfalls such as unemployment, family expansion and the like. Expecting your partner to take up equal responsibility is natural. If you have taken out a debt and struggling to pay it off, your spouse should contribute efforts to help you get out of it. In that situation, both of you need to push down “what’s mine is mine” approach.
Even though you have been earning a good amount, you are likely to be in a tight corner. Many people try to borrow money, but they end up paying high-interest rates due to bad credit standing. Though you can easily access loans for bad credit with no guarantor and no fees unemployed, you should be wary of your credit rating.
You should look over your credit report to find out what the score is and why it is low. Find out the score of your spouse too. If your partner’s score is stellar, you can apply for the best loan offer in the name of your partner. If you do not run accounts jointly, you should pay back the whole of the money to your spouse. However, do not forget to take certain steps to build your credit. Figure out which mistakes destroyed your creditworthiness and try not to repeat them down the road.
Bring the issue up before it is too late
As long as you and your spouse have their own accounts separately, there are fewer chances to have a row because you are solely responsible for your own finances from buying to taking out a debt. However, some couples show extreme maturity as they successfully manage to make laid-back arrangements although for the others it can be like breathing down their neck.
Here is a case of Sharon who had a joint account with her husband, David when they took out a mortgage. Everything was going on smoothly until they had taken out a joint account for all the bills. She thought that whatever would have they left at the end would be theirs, but this idea turned out to be a nightmare that continued to evoke doubts in her mind that she had paid the bigger share and in her husband’s mind that he had paid the bigger share. When they finally decided to sit and talk about it, Sharon found that her husband had been very secretive.
Financial experts suggest that you should immediately bring the subject up if you suspect something is wrong. Proactive approach can prevent you from ruining your relationship as well as finances.
Target one financial goal
Having said that you and your spouse may have a different approach to deal with money, you should pick one common financial goal whether it is cutting back on spending, whittling down credit card bills, and saving money for your retirement. Make sure that both of you are on the same page to achieve your goal. For instance, if you have decided to set aside 10% of your money in your retirement savings account, put aside that chunk of money and then follow your own approach to spend and save for a rainy day.